Matthew,

I just thought I would put some of my thoughts on the internet.  It's 1:00am in the morning and I can't sleep.  I can only think of you.  I ponder for hours at night and I thought I would let you into my heart.  I only hope that this rambling will be around when you can truly read and understand the love I feel for you.  

I love every look, every sound you make and fear that your going to grow up to fast.  I daydream about games we'll play when you get older.  I look forward to your first steps, your first birthday, your first day of school, your prom, your last day of school and your marriage.  Yet, I wish that they would never come, knowing that the want is something that goes away as these milestones pass never to be relived.  I hope that you will someday know the love I feel for you.  

The last several years before you were born were difficult for me.  I have always enjoyed life more than most.  I would wake up every morning with a smile on my face.  I would think, what a wonderful time to be alive.  But, I lost interest in the world, boredom, questioning my existance.  There is a famous quote coined by Tom Cruse that explains the way I felt on Sept. 30, 1999 (your birthday).  'YOU COMPLETE ME!'  I again look forward to each day, happier than I have ever been in my life.

If God were to grant any wish that I had it would be to keep you safe from harm throughout your life.  I tear at the very thought that something bad could happen to you. 

I love you

Your Father